Things the kids have said to me so far...

"Sir, do you have a girlfriend?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Just... don't have one at the moment"
"Oh... do you have a boyfriend?"


(In English class) "Sir can we go to the riding complex?" (em... no)


"Where are you from?"
"Scotland"
"Scotland...? Is that a hill station?"


(On worksheet about hobby's) I like to play sexophone

Honeymoon Sorted

Here's a nice offer.
On my wedding night, the people living below me (head of geography and his wife) will fly me to India. They will bring me to their home city, Agra (site of the Taj Mahal) where I will be booked into a 5 star hotel free of cost. Me and my new wife will then recieve a complimentary meal worth Rs. 900. The next day they will book us a taxi chauffer us around the sights of Agra and India.

I will accept written applications from marriage candidates from the beginning of next month.

I fell off my chair in the computer centre today. It was dead embarrassing.

Evening Schedule

My working day is busy, not so much with classes, more with people to visit in the evening.

I have two or three classes a day, extra curricular things to teach to teach at games time, then I get a bit of a break.

Then my evening shift starts with a compulsory yoga and hindi lesson from the swimming master, then a visit to one of the other seven people who have invited me to see them for an hour every evening, then back to my building, where I'm to have a conversation with a teacher's wife so she can learn English. In return she will teach me Indian dance some time which I guess is fair given that she's desperate to learn English and I would probably rather not be taught how to dance.
Then I get home, become excited by the thought of going to bed... and then the door bell rings and in comes the neighbouring geography teacher who rifles through my stuff, asks me stupid questions, gives me stupid advice and pesters me to get him a job in Scotland.
Then invariably in the mornings I'm woken up by an odd Indian phoning me and making irrelevant and uninspired conversation and usually telling me what I should be doing at that moment.

Bahal Police Force

The village behind me is called Bahal. I don't know what keeps it going since the agriculture is dead for 10 months of the year. We're on the border of the Rajasthan and the Thar desert, so in the summer sand dunes start to form. They have camels to pull their carts. Its a pretty sleepy town.

The police force is suitably sleepy. I seem to always get put in the care of the slightly mental staff. So between the absolute mentalist I was with and the 80 year old police officer, they managed to make a complete mess of my registration. It took up a whole page of this massive guest book and took about half an hour. (This is something I have to do every time I stay in a hotel, and takes about 2 minutes) The police force reminded me of Dad's Army. Fairly incompetent and slightly colonial. They sat me down at a table, gave me tea and got on with my passport details, writing "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland" wherever "U.K." would have done.

If there were ever a serious issue to be dealt with, a dispute over a camel for instance, the police would not be able to solve it. But the good news was that one of the police officers was holding a large stick.

So yes. I'm in safe hands.

School time

Yes! I've managed somehow to get the computer working.

Anyway, here are the facts about the school.
It's in Haryana, which by itself is a pretty unremarkable state so its often twinned with Punjab, the Northern capital of food and dance. The school is in the middle of a desert, which means its warm during the day and freezing at night. In fact its a bit like a little desert oasis. With peacocks. The college and school campus combined is called "Vidyagram" which means "Village of Knowledge" which I suppose is fair enough. Slightly unfair that only the rich people can enter the "Village of Knowledge" while the normal people sit outside in the desert and sell eggs. But thats ok if you don't go near the gates you don't have to think about it. The school does a lot of charity projects and things in the local area, one of which I think I'm spending a week in some time, but I haven't heard much about that since I got here.
There is no helicopter.
On 26th of January there is Republic Day, when they celebrate their independance, so big shows for that. And it means that every day at about 4.00 there are horses roaming around the campus and people on rollerskates weaving in and out of them. And peacocks.

No one seems to talk about the peacocks, they treat them as if they're normal. But they're not. There are peacocks everywhere its not normal at all.

So theres plenty to keep me busy. Loads of people want to learn guitar and do drama. (I'm thinking much ado about nothing...) And I'm to teach them some English songs to sing at a trans cultural entertainment programme in February when the English exchange students come over.

There are one or two challenging characters to get used to but thats ok. And I have a little house of my own (or not quite, the neighbour comes and goes as he likes. I come out of the bathroom to find him comfortably seated, deep in one of my books.)

Sorry Delhi

Maybe I was a bit harsh on Delhi. It's actually quite nice, it's got more amazing historic tombs and temples than any other city anywhere, so sightseeing here is quite fun.

My problem now is this: I think I actually don't like good shops anymore. Everything in Delhi is so easy. Today I went to get a pair of trousers made. I can't pick them up tomorow so they are dropping them off at the hostel this evening. I paid half in the shop and I pay half when I get them. The man spoke perfect English. I guess having everthing turned into a mission keeps you entertained, but it's not a mission anymore. Aah! First taste of something I might miss back at home. Bit disturbing.
So yes, the problem is mine, not New Delhi's.

Today I have been focussing all my attention on trying to learn Hindi.
bohout doodh hai. aacha. :)