This tea thing is getting out of hand. Seriously, sometimes I find cups of tea sitting next to me an I don't even remember who gave me them.
And sometimes I look away, and when I look back theres a cup of tea sitting on the table.
Today I walked into a locked classroom to find a cup of tea sitting waiting for me. It's eerie.
Tuesday 31 March 2009
Monday 30 March 2009
Back to School in a Different Place
Talk about being dropped in at the deep end. I was picked up the other night at 8.00 and told on the way to the school that I was to prepare an 8 hour "English Communication Skills Workshop" which starts the next day.
I was met at my house by two teachers from Shivani school, but instead of being taken straight there, I was taken to another apartment block in BRCM and given tea. More and more teachers from Shivani joined us there. I can't really describe fully how bizzare it was, but it was. I didn't know whether I was at BRCM or Shivani school. It was like Indian public school limbo.
Anyway I'm here now and 5 1/2 hours through my 8 hour workshop. Shivani is a smaller operation, and has got boys AND girls. That really does make things a lot easier.
Despite being a lot more placid than BRCM, they are a lot worse for banging on my door. For a start, I don't have a door bell here, so their fanaticism can't be deflected onto that. It has to be the door.
I got woken up this morning by my door just about being battered down. I thought there was a police raid.
Opened the door.
"THIS IS TEA."
I took a few seconds to take in what was happening. There was a servant standing there. And yes, he was correct, it was tea, but tea is not that important. You do not have to destroy my door just to give me tea.
I have always suspected that Indians like to have celebrations just for the sake of having celebrations, but I have proof now.
This school celebrates something called "annual day."
"Annual Day"?? You can't just do that. You can't just make up a celebration and call it annual day.
Anyway its really nice to be teaching again instead of spending 40 minutes each lesson shouting "sit down."
I was met at my house by two teachers from Shivani school, but instead of being taken straight there, I was taken to another apartment block in BRCM and given tea. More and more teachers from Shivani joined us there. I can't really describe fully how bizzare it was, but it was. I didn't know whether I was at BRCM or Shivani school. It was like Indian public school limbo.
Anyway I'm here now and 5 1/2 hours through my 8 hour workshop. Shivani is a smaller operation, and has got boys AND girls. That really does make things a lot easier.
Despite being a lot more placid than BRCM, they are a lot worse for banging on my door. For a start, I don't have a door bell here, so their fanaticism can't be deflected onto that. It has to be the door.
I got woken up this morning by my door just about being battered down. I thought there was a police raid.
Opened the door.
"THIS IS TEA."
I took a few seconds to take in what was happening. There was a servant standing there. And yes, he was correct, it was tea, but tea is not that important. You do not have to destroy my door just to give me tea.
I have always suspected that Indians like to have celebrations just for the sake of having celebrations, but I have proof now.
This school celebrates something called "annual day."
"Annual Day"?? You can't just do that. You can't just make up a celebration and call it annual day.
Anyway its really nice to be teaching again instead of spending 40 minutes each lesson shouting "sit down."
Thursday 26 March 2009
PDC camp
I've been at a "personality development camp" all week at a farm house which the school owns. They do it really well actually. The head sports teacher does it army style and they do sports and games and music. The teachers still don't quite know how to make use of me so in my slight redundancy I took it upon myself to be official photographer.
I decided to make my colonial forefathers proud, so I spent a large part of it sitting with the riding teacher in an arm chair, shooting things with an air rifle and drinking tea.
Next I'm off to Shivani Public school for a few days. This is the school which the exchange students from Gloucestershire visited, and who were so uncontainably excited that they induced one girl to have a panic attack, so this should be fun.
I decided to make my colonial forefathers proud, so I spent a large part of it sitting with the riding teacher in an arm chair, shooting things with an air rifle and drinking tea.
Next I'm off to Shivani Public school for a few days. This is the school which the exchange students from Gloucestershire visited, and who were so uncontainably excited that they induced one girl to have a panic attack, so this should be fun.
Sunday 22 March 2009
World Record: Longest Auto Rickshaw Ride
The longest auto rickshaw ride ever took place on 22nd March 2009.
Tom Emslie-Smith was driven the equivalent of over three times the length of Dundee to Perth.
The journey cost him just over a fiver. And it was really boring.
(actually this isn't true at all, there is a rickshaw race every year which spans the whole length of India which I am really quite excited to have heard about and am going to enter next year.)
Tom Emslie-Smith was driven the equivalent of over three times the length of Dundee to Perth.
The journey cost him just over a fiver. And it was really boring.
(actually this isn't true at all, there is a rickshaw race every year which spans the whole length of India which I am really quite excited to have heard about and am going to enter next year.)
Just general...
No real subject this time, just some things that struck me on my journey home.
I think there is a person employed on every bus and train to make the ride difficult or uncomfortable in some way. There is always something.
Tonight it was the ticket collector, who noticed I was lying on a big berth, at right angles to the window.
"Excuse me, that is your seat over there"
Oh... can I not just sleep here?
"But that is not S9"
But there is no one else sleeping here
"...but it's not S9"
But the carriage is practically empty and there is no one in this seat.
"...but S9 is over there (you see? over there, the stuffy top berth that's boxed in against the window, is about a foot to small for you, has a light where your head is that you can't switch off and is next to the man who's snoring)"
later on I am woken up at 1 am by some idiot in a yellow shirt and a baseball cap who doesn't speak a word of English who for some reason that is beyond me wants to inspect my ticket, labours through all the details on the ticket, gives it back and then leaves.
I arrived in Delhi and had a few hours to kill but with no shops open on Sunday. I decided to get my ears cleaned professionally. This is quite a common profession for guys on the street in Delhi. There is a whole caste (family) of ear cleaners that have had it in their blood for generations.
Guess how much he tried to charge me. Guess.
70 quid!!!!
HAHAHA
you want Rs 5000 to clean my ears with a cotton bud??
I gave him 1/100th of the price and told him to be on his way.
In the news today a Delhi college student was "ragged" to death. "Ragging" is bullying that goes on in college hostels, and usually it is ignored by the college authorities because the victims commit suicide, so the blame can be put on stress or mental intability or general "weakness" on the victim's part. But this time he was murdered. So will we see big changes? I don't think so.
It tells me that there is no sector of India, those with money and without, high caste, low caste, educated, rural, urban, that is without chronic and serious problems. If rich, educated kids with good prospects are bullying classmates to death for fun, who do you look to to get India out of the mess of religious and caste violence, corruption, and political crime?
The other day a statue of Charlie Chaplin in Karnkata was strongly objected to by a Hindu extremist because he was a Christian.
Which is funny, because the Nazis objected to Charlie Chaplin because he was a jew.
I think there is a person employed on every bus and train to make the ride difficult or uncomfortable in some way. There is always something.
Tonight it was the ticket collector, who noticed I was lying on a big berth, at right angles to the window.
"Excuse me, that is your seat over there"
Oh... can I not just sleep here?
"But that is not S9"
But there is no one else sleeping here
"...but it's not S9"
But the carriage is practically empty and there is no one in this seat.
"...but S9 is over there (you see? over there, the stuffy top berth that's boxed in against the window, is about a foot to small for you, has a light where your head is that you can't switch off and is next to the man who's snoring)"
later on I am woken up at 1 am by some idiot in a yellow shirt and a baseball cap who doesn't speak a word of English who for some reason that is beyond me wants to inspect my ticket, labours through all the details on the ticket, gives it back and then leaves.
I arrived in Delhi and had a few hours to kill but with no shops open on Sunday. I decided to get my ears cleaned professionally. This is quite a common profession for guys on the street in Delhi. There is a whole caste (family) of ear cleaners that have had it in their blood for generations.
Guess how much he tried to charge me. Guess.
70 quid!!!!
HAHAHA
you want Rs 5000 to clean my ears with a cotton bud??
I gave him 1/100th of the price and told him to be on his way.
In the news today a Delhi college student was "ragged" to death. "Ragging" is bullying that goes on in college hostels, and usually it is ignored by the college authorities because the victims commit suicide, so the blame can be put on stress or mental intability or general "weakness" on the victim's part. But this time he was murdered. So will we see big changes? I don't think so.
It tells me that there is no sector of India, those with money and without, high caste, low caste, educated, rural, urban, that is without chronic and serious problems. If rich, educated kids with good prospects are bullying classmates to death for fun, who do you look to to get India out of the mess of religious and caste violence, corruption, and political crime?
The other day a statue of Charlie Chaplin in Karnkata was strongly objected to by a Hindu extremist because he was a Christian.
Which is funny, because the Nazis objected to Charlie Chaplin because he was a jew.
20:20 India vs European selects
On arriving at the hotel I was asked if I was English. I said no, Scottish. He looked a little dissapointed, but asked me anyway if I could play cricket.
Next thing I know I'm on the dry river bed beneath the bridge introducing myself to ten other English, Australian and French people who had been similarly drafted in to the international 20:20 match between hotel staff and guests.
There were about 3 of us who had ever played cricket before, and another 2 who had ever watched cricket, which meant that over half the team had no idea what they were doing.
The press turned up, gave some interviews, took some pictures.
We got thrashed.
I was opening batsman. Got caught out on the first bowl I faced.
Another guy for some reason got changed out of casual clothes to smart clothes for the match, only to chase a ball straight into to the muddy river and come out with the bottom of his trousers and deck shoes covered, much to the enjoyment of the rather large crowd which had assembled on the ghat steps and along the bridge.
After the match there were trophies and a man of the match award, and free coke and tea at the owner's cafe. A bit later on they kept the roof top restaurant open all night for us and we sat and had drinks with the rest of the "cricket team".
I met almost all of them the next day, Udaipur being a small place, and went on a little trip with two of the guys who I got along with. We were in two newspapers and a national news channel. Can you belive that?
Next thing I know I'm on the dry river bed beneath the bridge introducing myself to ten other English, Australian and French people who had been similarly drafted in to the international 20:20 match between hotel staff and guests.
There were about 3 of us who had ever played cricket before, and another 2 who had ever watched cricket, which meant that over half the team had no idea what they were doing.
The press turned up, gave some interviews, took some pictures.
We got thrashed.
I was opening batsman. Got caught out on the first bowl I faced.
Another guy for some reason got changed out of casual clothes to smart clothes for the match, only to chase a ball straight into to the muddy river and come out with the bottom of his trousers and deck shoes covered, much to the enjoyment of the rather large crowd which had assembled on the ghat steps and along the bridge.
After the match there were trophies and a man of the match award, and free coke and tea at the owner's cafe. A bit later on they kept the roof top restaurant open all night for us and we sat and had drinks with the rest of the "cricket team".
I met almost all of them the next day, Udaipur being a small place, and went on a little trip with two of the guys who I got along with. We were in two newspapers and a national news channel. Can you belive that?
Sewage Incident
I was walking along the street of the market, past cows and motorbikes when, through reasons beyond my control, the way was blocked due to a misunderstanding between a cow and a motorbike, made worse by a goat and a vegetable cart.
I diverted my coarse round to the right of the vegetable cart, taking me onto the side of the road. On the corner, where a building jutted out was a large paving slab inset into the pavement. The cow/ motorbike jam showed no sign of budging and I was pushed for space. Without paying proper attention, and not being aware that I needed to, I stepped onto the slab. The slab flipped over like a trap door and I was plunged ankle deep into the underground stream of sewage.
Most people don't know what Indian sewage is like. It runs down the side of the road on every main street and it is the filthiest, ugliest, most rancid, malodorous, poisonous, repulsive, repugnant, urin filled, vomit inducing mixture of industrial, household and human waste.
There I was, standing in it. I took about three seconds not understanding what had happened, and another three not believing what had happened, before panicking, climbing out, and still not knowing what to do.
The girls didn't bat an eyelid. Some shop owner casually pointed me towards a public hand pump where I washed my filth covered feet and flip flops and thoroughly as I could. I still felt dirty for the rest of the week. The paving stone stayed where it was, at right angles to the pavement, sticking like a shark's fin out of the grey and white disease fluid that flowed round it and on down the street.
I diverted my coarse round to the right of the vegetable cart, taking me onto the side of the road. On the corner, where a building jutted out was a large paving slab inset into the pavement. The cow/ motorbike jam showed no sign of budging and I was pushed for space. Without paying proper attention, and not being aware that I needed to, I stepped onto the slab. The slab flipped over like a trap door and I was plunged ankle deep into the underground stream of sewage.
Most people don't know what Indian sewage is like. It runs down the side of the road on every main street and it is the filthiest, ugliest, most rancid, malodorous, poisonous, repulsive, repugnant, urin filled, vomit inducing mixture of industrial, household and human waste.
There I was, standing in it. I took about three seconds not understanding what had happened, and another three not believing what had happened, before panicking, climbing out, and still not knowing what to do.
The girls didn't bat an eyelid. Some shop owner casually pointed me towards a public hand pump where I washed my filth covered feet and flip flops and thoroughly as I could. I still felt dirty for the rest of the week. The paving stone stayed where it was, at right angles to the pavement, sticking like a shark's fin out of the grey and white disease fluid that flowed round it and on down the street.
Udaipur
Udaipur is known as the lake city, but unfortunately its name has been besmerched since the lake has shrunk quite considerably due to dought. It's also got two of the top 10 hotels in the world within a mile of each other, one in the middle of the lake (and that's the lesser ranked one).
Inside the palace there is a model horse with an elephant's trunk. The reason is, believe or don't believe- it's still ture, that in the days of the Maharajas and Moghuls, the Moghuls used to give their elephants swords in their trunks so that they they could kill to death anything that came near. So, cunningly, the Hindu army attached trunks to their horses so they would look like baby elephants and not get killed.
Also, they are obsessed with Octupussy- the Bond Film. That's because it was shot here. Almost every second cafe has a 7pm showing of Octopussy every day and one of the cafes had a "temple of Octopussy"
Inside the palace there is a model horse with an elephant's trunk. The reason is, believe or don't believe- it's still ture, that in the days of the Maharajas and Moghuls, the Moghuls used to give their elephants swords in their trunks so that they they could kill to death anything that came near. So, cunningly, the Hindu army attached trunks to their horses so they would look like baby elephants and not get killed.
Also, they are obsessed with Octupussy- the Bond Film. That's because it was shot here. Almost every second cafe has a 7pm showing of Octopussy every day and one of the cafes had a "temple of Octopussy"
Wednesday 18 March 2009
Rajacamel
Been cameling around in Rajasthan for a few days now. Actually no, I've not really done much in the way of camels. There is the odd camel, and they definately look as if they're at home here, but I've not managed to buy one like I had hoped.
Got into Jaipur. Couldn't believe the bus service had actually got me there. Phoned Chloe.
"Can you see a horse?"
"Yeah I'm right behind a horse, hang on. (Rickshaw driver- follow that horse please) Yeah, I'll be there in a second."
Jaipur is cool. I like it. It's called the pink city because some lady decided to make it pink, which was nice.
There is an astrological... thing... in Jaipur. It's called Janther Manther. I didn't have a clue how it worked but it was like Alice in Wonderland, there were loads of oddly shaped astrological intruments.
I'm in Pushkar at the moment. Can you imagine being the first hippie to arrive at this tiny little town surrounding a pond in the middle of the desert? Since then its become a little tourist town. It's still a bit holy, only its got a few things holding it back.
One- it's a tourist town. There are some absolutely baked looking Sadhus sitting by the lake but they're far too preoccupied with tourists to take care of any real religious followers.
Two- Its FILTHY. The lake has rafts of scum floating around on the top. This was a lake which came to be when Brahma dropped a lotus flower on the earth. Thousands of years later and it's got litter, filth and poo floating around in it. They are having to dredge the lake to clean it up.
That aside, it's the perfect place to run away to. There's plenty of proper hippies stuck here, some of them seem to have packed up for good and have started shops selling fire spinning aparatus and paintings of Sadhus smoking chillums.
I got up early today, crept out of the room and climbed up the hill at the back of the town before the sun came up. You could eclipse the town with the palm of your hand, and then all you could see was desert, for miles.
Got into Jaipur. Couldn't believe the bus service had actually got me there. Phoned Chloe.
"Can you see a horse?"
"Yeah I'm right behind a horse, hang on. (Rickshaw driver- follow that horse please) Yeah, I'll be there in a second."
Jaipur is cool. I like it. It's called the pink city because some lady decided to make it pink, which was nice.
There is an astrological... thing... in Jaipur. It's called Janther Manther. I didn't have a clue how it worked but it was like Alice in Wonderland, there were loads of oddly shaped astrological intruments.
I'm in Pushkar at the moment. Can you imagine being the first hippie to arrive at this tiny little town surrounding a pond in the middle of the desert? Since then its become a little tourist town. It's still a bit holy, only its got a few things holding it back.
One- it's a tourist town. There are some absolutely baked looking Sadhus sitting by the lake but they're far too preoccupied with tourists to take care of any real religious followers.
Two- Its FILTHY. The lake has rafts of scum floating around on the top. This was a lake which came to be when Brahma dropped a lotus flower on the earth. Thousands of years later and it's got litter, filth and poo floating around in it. They are having to dredge the lake to clean it up.
That aside, it's the perfect place to run away to. There's plenty of proper hippies stuck here, some of them seem to have packed up for good and have started shops selling fire spinning aparatus and paintings of Sadhus smoking chillums.
I got up early today, crept out of the room and climbed up the hill at the back of the town before the sun came up. You could eclipse the town with the palm of your hand, and then all you could see was desert, for miles.
Wednesday 11 March 2009
Sunday 8 March 2009
Leavers Riots
I'm writing this in intense secrecy and I really hope it doesn't get monitored.
This school is insane!!
Some of the stuff that goes on!!
I only really learned last night
About a week back I got told to come to "Shanti House" to see something. What I saw were, sitting in the middle of the semi-indoor court yard, the remnants of quite a large bonfire which they had made last night, stoking it with their books and class notes.
I was fairly...surprised that this was what goes on in dormitories, but came to the conclusion that it was probably just a one off, and not as big a deal as it looked.
Fire crackers have been going off at intervals all week and when I was away in Sri Lanka, the prayers in assembly were interupted by a firework going off inside.
But if the talk is true, hell is about to break loose.
Plans are under way to smash tube lights, windows, throw chairs about, have fights with teachers, damage teachers cars, and a whole load of that kind of thing.
Just the other night two students stole a set of keys, broke into the library and tried to steal a load of cd's. Two students also jumped the wall and tried to run away and drink, while two others just got smashed in their dormitories.
In previous years the principals window has been smashed and fire crackers thrown inside, acid bottles have been thrown at house masters doors and teachers have been hit.
But right next to me is a small boy showing me an animated clip of some dancing letters spelling out "Happy Holi" (an Indian festival). Completely innocent. The school doesn't appear to be a rough school at all. There's nothing in their teaching, or running of the school that would give rise to that sort of atmosphere so I'm completely at a loss as to where that sort of ungrateful, malicious intentions come from.
The more I write, the more I start to feel sick. These boys have horses. They are given the chance to go horse riding every day. How many people in this country have the chance to go horse riding every day? And now they want to go about smashing windows as if they have something to feel bad about.
This school is insane!!
Some of the stuff that goes on!!
I only really learned last night
About a week back I got told to come to "Shanti House" to see something. What I saw were, sitting in the middle of the semi-indoor court yard, the remnants of quite a large bonfire which they had made last night, stoking it with their books and class notes.
I was fairly...surprised that this was what goes on in dormitories, but came to the conclusion that it was probably just a one off, and not as big a deal as it looked.
Fire crackers have been going off at intervals all week and when I was away in Sri Lanka, the prayers in assembly were interupted by a firework going off inside.
But if the talk is true, hell is about to break loose.
Plans are under way to smash tube lights, windows, throw chairs about, have fights with teachers, damage teachers cars, and a whole load of that kind of thing.
Just the other night two students stole a set of keys, broke into the library and tried to steal a load of cd's. Two students also jumped the wall and tried to run away and drink, while two others just got smashed in their dormitories.
In previous years the principals window has been smashed and fire crackers thrown inside, acid bottles have been thrown at house masters doors and teachers have been hit.
But right next to me is a small boy showing me an animated clip of some dancing letters spelling out "Happy Holi" (an Indian festival). Completely innocent. The school doesn't appear to be a rough school at all. There's nothing in their teaching, or running of the school that would give rise to that sort of atmosphere so I'm completely at a loss as to where that sort of ungrateful, malicious intentions come from.
The more I write, the more I start to feel sick. These boys have horses. They are given the chance to go horse riding every day. How many people in this country have the chance to go horse riding every day? And now they want to go about smashing windows as if they have something to feel bad about.
Monday 2 March 2009
More things the students have said
"You're eating a banana?? Here?? In front of everyone??"
"Sir, where are the exchange students from?
Gloucestershire.
...Greenland?
No, Gloucestershire.
...Glacier?
No, Glou-cester-shire.
Gl...Glo...Gl...Greenland?"
"Sir, can I show you an English song I have written?
Yes, certainly
(shows piece of paper)
(on piece of paper) "What you gonna do with all that junk? all that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get get get you drunk, Get you love drunk on my hump..."
"Sir, what is your computer password?
Gullable
Sir?
Gullable
How do you spell it?
G-U-L-L-A-B-L-E
Gul-la-ble?
Yes
Thank you sir!
No problem.
(runs off to try and hack into my account.)
"Sir, where are the exchange students from?
Gloucestershire.
...Greenland?
No, Gloucestershire.
...Glacier?
No, Glou-cester-shire.
Gl...Glo...Gl...Greenland?"
"Sir, can I show you an English song I have written?
Yes, certainly
(shows piece of paper)
(on piece of paper) "What you gonna do with all that junk? all that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get get get you drunk, Get you love drunk on my hump..."
"Sir, what is your computer password?
Gullable
Sir?
Gullable
How do you spell it?
G-U-L-L-A-B-L-E
Gul-la-ble?
Yes
Thank you sir!
No problem.
(runs off to try and hack into my account.)
Pre-Emptive Rajasthan entry
I won't dress it up very much, the students have become rather childish and recently their dialogue has degenerated from conversation to lists of sex-references. That's why of late, I've been farely dying to get out and see somewhere else for a while.
So since the words of approval were uttered from beneath the bushy moustache of the headmaster, I have been quite excited. I'm going to Rajasthan.
I'll confess the first time I heard of Rajasthan was on Monty Don's "Around the World in 80 Gardens"
But Rajasthan is something of a king of states. That's what the name means- "Land of the Rulers" It used to be home to the rulers of India. That's why it has so many forts and palaces, some of which are in the middle of lakes. Nowadays it's mainly home to camels.
It's funny how having something to look forward to changes your outlook. Your mind becomes less involved with the little frustrations and you tend to exaggerate the things you like rather than the things you don't. Bit like life really. :)
So since the words of approval were uttered from beneath the bushy moustache of the headmaster, I have been quite excited. I'm going to Rajasthan.
I'll confess the first time I heard of Rajasthan was on Monty Don's "Around the World in 80 Gardens"
But Rajasthan is something of a king of states. That's what the name means- "Land of the Rulers" It used to be home to the rulers of India. That's why it has so many forts and palaces, some of which are in the middle of lakes. Nowadays it's mainly home to camels.
It's funny how having something to look forward to changes your outlook. Your mind becomes less involved with the little frustrations and you tend to exaggerate the things you like rather than the things you don't. Bit like life really. :)
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